Here is a (very minor) dilemma from my own family.
I am starting to think about names for a hypothetical second child. One name on the table is a common English name — let's say Anne. My mother's name is Mary Anne, named after her grandmothers, Mary and Anne. I would love to use this name for a girl.
Problem: my younger brother is dating a girl named Anne. He is still in college, but this is a long-term relationship — they started dating in high school and their relationship has survived three years of college and a considerable distance issue. They seem to be going strong — they spend every possible weekend and all vacations together. There is a non-zero chance that they will get married, possibly around the time that hypothetical kid is born.
Obviously, I'm getting way ahead of myself. There are lots of unknowns — will they get married or stay together long-term? Will I have a second child? Will it be a girl? Does my husband even like Anne? It's not even that big a deal — on the other side of my family, I have an uncle named David who has two daughters, both of whom are married to men named David, and it's a joke, not a problem. Still, my cousins have not named their sons David, perhaps because that's piling on too much.
But I'm curious — what do you think of this situation? What happens when a family gets cluttered up with a name through both birth and marriage? Is that a problem for you, or does it all work out? Can individual nicknames overcome multiple generations of similarly-named individuals? Or is it a mess (I've heard that having too many juniors/IIIs around can be a pain of mixed up mail and confused credit scores)? Thoughts?
I think you're borrowing trouble and you shouldn't worry about this until you're pregnant. If and when you get pregnant broach this subject with your mom and your brother, they might have some interesting thoughts on the subject.
ReplyDeleteSure, they might. But what are your thoughts?
ReplyDeleteObviously, this is not a pressing concern, but I don't have any email to answer today, so I'm trying to collect other perspectives on an issue that probably comes up in a lot of families.
I don't think "name cluttering" in a family is that big of an issue. There are a lot of similar or same names in my family. It gets confusing sometimes, even funny, but it always works out.
ReplyDeleteI don't have much experience with name clustering. I have a young step cousin with my name, but it didn't really bother me. We only met a few times a year and she was so much younger than me that it seemed kind of cool. My husband's family has almost reached critical mass on Christophers and Katherines, but that's solved by using different nicknames.
ReplyDeleteMy friend Jackie has a brother named Dan and a sister named Michelle. Dan is currently in danger of being engaged with a girl named Michelle and his Sister was seeing a boy named Jack. They seem to find it funny rather than a problem.
I think that the only time that name proliferation becomes a problem is in cases like "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" where everyone is named Nicholas, Nick, Nicki, or Nicole. If it's a case of your brother's girlfriend/fiance/wife and your daughter sharing a name it's not going to seem like too much.
Definitely a bridge best crossed once you come to it. But no, even if your brother marries his Anne and you have a little girl the same time, if you love the name, use it! Sister-in-law will probably be flattered, and at family gatherings, they'd just become 'big Anne' (or something similar) and 'little Anne'.
ReplyDeleteName clustering doesn't bother me so much when it is by marriage or remarriage. But I can see that your brother's long-term relationship with Anne could make the name off-limits. If you already had a daughter named Anne, and your brother began dating Anne then it would be a fun coincidence. But since the relationship came first, it almost seems as if you are (partly) naming your daughter after the other Anne.
ReplyDeleteWhat about rearranging your mother's name into Annemarie? You could still call her Annie, or Anne as a nickname. Good luck!